Grog’s Rules for Food™


Grog’s Prime Directive™: “put whatever you want on your plate, let me put what I want on mine and we’re good… Mangia!”

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table.  more of a safety tip than a rule

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass

#9 – no matter what you eat, you will die

#10 – no food in the bathroom. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS! coffee is OK